19 December 2007

if ...


I’m hearing in every store the sound of old Christmas’ songs.

"Coming Home for Christmas" had never had a meaning to me
and with the years living as a foreigner, not even the crowds at the shops, affect me.
I just don’t get any feeling,
either sadness or stress because I’ve succeeded
in keeping me outside the Christmas' stress and
don’t be distressed because
I don’t have anyone special to buy a present to.

Every friend I have is telling me all the time
about the meaning of living
and the necessity of being thankful and joyful.
But I have difficulties to see why.
You think many times that’s better to think
of what you can do for the others,
independent of what you are doing or who you are helping to.
Though, many times during the last years,
I have been taken for granted
and then everything, had turned up to be at last my own fault
—if the time comes when I have nothing left to give.
Nobody either thanks or tell me how glad they have become.
They just go away without any explanation forgetting
how much they had told me that they loved me.
I don’t want to be bitter.
I just want to find happiness
inside my self and wait for my turn
... if ever comes ...

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