/ʃ'eɪd/

different shades,

different feelings,

different approaches,

different message.

grafitti

pretty good sources of inspiration
I like the idea of painting or writing on walls
it gets another perspective to what you are doing
and it has been done since before history (i e Altamira's)

an image

simple + lines + curves + nature + time


fading, gradually becoming paler
as sunlight taking away the brightness
as the time that fade away life 
slowly less clear until it disappears... 

remembering the winter

a simple glorious winter in Stockholm

a white shade covering shapes and textures

to just suspecting a sleeping nature

waiting, dreaming, breathing

but slowly 

soundless

and cold

traces of winter

a long and cold winter in Stockholm has left its traces everywhere in different shapes creating ice sculptures everywhere

capturing a frozen nature

a foggy early morning had dressed the naked trees and the rest of the autumn with tiny glittering snowflakes transforming nature in a collection of patterns.

twigs, forgotten leaves, a stair, a fence.

everything changes shapes. it's a landscape in black and white where forms are as simple as geometry or sometimes, as music notes on a white sheet.

i took the pictures and then played with the forms to find patterns underneath.

sources of inspiration

inspiration!

we were talking about that

and we said that there is not any true way to find it
neither, is there a place to go to to get inspiration.

we do sometimes have a spa where we feel like it's easier

to communicate with deepest thoughts—but there is always the possibility that there nothing happens.

i find inspiration and images mostly without seeking 
the sources of it just happen to be there,

around the corner,

when walking,

talking,

running fast to get the bus or just

in your way to the gym on a cold, icy winter day.

it was then, when I was steering at the side walk to sort out the the ice spots trying not to slip down, when i saw something black on a concave white board and i have to go back to check what it was.

i couldn't realize what the things were

(the rest of a Christmas decoration?)

but the garbage reminded me a sculpture, something i saw in Venice's Biennial years ago—or was at Louisiana?

however i grab my iPhone and took a picture of the "sculpture" to be able to see what i could do with it—an illustration, part of a book on textures, things we don't see and so on.

then,

the source of inspiration was found on the sidewalk among assorted garbage,

rests of Christmas decoration,

quite unexpected...

you just have to open your eyes and discover... see...

a frozen second

I never wanted to be my self.
Not even at the early years I accepted the person I was at that moment.
The memories that I have, tell me noting about being happy or having lust for anything.
Not even hope.
I never thought about having a future or how this future would be.
Everything was more like a frozen second of life,
the detention of the living moment,
nihilism.

I'm pretty aware that we live is a timeline that it's not connected with other moments other than with a memory and the capacity of making connections between those tiny images of life.

Since I have never accepted the facts of being my self, I have passed through this chain of dissolving moments
waiting for nothing,
forcing my self to have hope
even when I know that the hope I have is just an invention
an image put together with pieces of nothing
a chain of frozen seconds without connection ...

dreamlike

a walk in the late autumn light in the afternoon
weather is bad, cold and damp
suddenly by the time the sunset starts
a beautiful golden light illuminate some tops of the skyline
becoming a beautiful combination of black and white
with a touch of bright colors
like in a scene or a dream...

tenderness

... and then, I couldn't stop thinking about a picture I had done a couple of years ago that was aimed to show the feeling of belonging and tenderness that sometimes if we are lucky enough, can experience.

... to get the feeling of hearing the rhythm of the one who we love, breathing and see the beautiful expression of a face when sleeping peacefully in our arms and contemplate the closed eyelids slightly slightly moving, seeing hopefully, wonderful landscapes, multiple shades of colours, moonbeams touching the surface of the water or the first rays of light on a cold morning day

... feeling the warmth that's coming from two embraced naked bodies and all your senses getting fulfilled with a perfect connection that hardly can be expressed neither in words or shapes ... you see your self, shivering of pleasure and you wish that you were a poet to be able to translate into words what you just have felt.

[picture: the Cullbergsballet dancing a piece of "position of elsewhere" 22/8/09 at Vitabergsparken in Stockholm]

life is a journey

life is a journey
(the by line of samsonite as the picture above)
after a couple a years living in the worst chaos ever in my life and this time totally alone I came to trust life again and everything seemed to fall in place and even when the expectations weren't the best the hope had come back.
life was quite good until everything started to fall apart ... again

you never think about the world wide economy but after the last fall of the stock market in the States reality has become suddenly not just something you see on CNN but a notice that remind you the thin line between being an active professional and a man in between jobs.

and not just that, but the whole picture, changes.
the journey has been given a new direction and at the same time it has stopped the time because it will mean that I'll be forced to stay in a place where I do not belong and, neither I know anyone for almost three more months!

as I said when talking to a friend, I have been in deeper shit in my life than now and somehow I have managed to turn the direction on, even when it has costed me pretty much strength and tears.